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If the Japan trip taught me one thing, it was to find a girlfriend who has a similar social background to yourself. Sure, even if she’s Asian, try to find an equivalent girl to somebody you’d date in your own town or city.
So trip 3 was back to China. However, this time I ignored the smaller cities and set my sights on the Southern cities of Guangzhou and Shenzhen.
Why these cities?
For one thing, as a young professional guy, these cities seemed packed with single professional ladies. I’d also visited Hong Kong before, so I was moderately familiar with the region. Learn from this – you’ll have more success with dating ladies if you appear CONFIDENT. And one big way to build confidence is to visit a city or region you have previously visited.
Eventually I settled on Guangzhou. It scored points over Shenzhen for being a more interesting city in its own right, with many more tourist attractions. It also had a metro link from the international airport right into the city center.
I planned on only visiting one lady during this trip. She approached me first on Chinese Love Links. She saw that we had similar backgrounds. See – I’m not the only person who thinks that you should date someone with a similar social background to yourself…
I spent 3 or 4 days with her but then a terrible misunderstanding meant I thought she was working on a day when it was actually a public vacation. Yeah, I’ll remind you that jetlag can play havoc with your mind, so be careful if you’re visiting Asia from Europe or North America. While I find my senses normally recover after 3 or 4 days, the experts reckon it takes one day per hour’s time difference in order for the body to completely adjust to jetlag.
After that I began to wonder if she was really the right girl for me. While it’s great to date the English speaking ladies, the downside is that it’s much easier to find out if your relationship is headed for the trashcan. If you’re dating an Asian girl who doesn’t speak English, well don’t be surprised if a huge problem suddenly becomes apparent in your relationship – this is a huge danger if you both can’t express yourself to each other.
Thankfully I brought my netbook PC with me, and as Chinese hotels generally offer complimentary internet access it was easy enough to log onto Chinese Love Links and search for other ladies who wanted to meet me.
A major problem I had was that a lot of ladies were busy, so scheduling dates was a problem. One thing to look for is ladies who say they’re busy but really all they’re going to is a dance class or a piano lesson. Sure, Asian ladies don’t like to lose face by not attending something (especially if their friends are going) but nine times out of ten if a girl would rather do something else than meet you then she’s unlikely to be serious about a long term relationship with you.
Anyway, I lined up a couple of new ladies to meet...
One lady worked near my hotel, so I met her for lunch. This lady was a little nervous about meeting me, so she brought her friend along as chaperone. As Sam Reeves has observed, this isn’t uncommon in China. Go along with it if it makes the lady feel more secure. However, in this case I’m sorry to say that I fancied her friend more than fancied my date. So for this reason I don’t think I’d want to meet another lady with a chaperone, and if you can possibly avoid it, then try to meet the lady on her own. Of course if you suggest somewhere safe to meet then she might not feel the need for a chaperone.
I met another lady on a blind date, but it was clear she hated my guts. Well that happens sometimes. Perversely, it’s encouraging when it does, because if you date ladies who aren’t sure about you, then it means you’re on the right track. A lot of Chinese ladies marry Western men out of desparation to get money or a baby. In fact women marry for a wide variety of reasons, but it’s invariably better to find a lady who likes you a lot and who maybe even loves you.
One lady was desparate to meet me, and she kept sending me a wall of emails through Chinese Love Links. She was much closer to my own age, and seemed quite pushy. As I had a blank diary that day, I agreed to meet her.
This lady impressed me from the start. She was good looking, intelligent, spoke good English and was very confident. Yeah, this was about as far from a mail order bride as you could possibly imagine.
This lady was my introduction into the world of the powerful Chinese lady. Not all Chinese Love Links ladies are poor and looking to marry for money. Far from it. Many of China’s elite ladies find it hard to find Chinese husbands, since Chinese men tend to prefer submissive Chinese women.
These wealthy ladies can be hard to spot on a Chinese dating site. They don’t flaunt their wealth like Shanghai Princesses do with their designer clothes and LV handbags. They tend to dress modestly, and hide their achievements.
Well I had a fabulous time with this lady, but I too began to question whether a formidable Chinese lady was what I was looking for.
The final lady was a very sweet girl who worked as an office lady in Guangzhou’s business district. She bought me dinner, which I was impressed with, and it’s something that rarely happens in China. Sadly I felt no feeling for her, but I really hope she finds her Mr Right.
