Getting Started

So you’re thinking about finding a foreign bride. How on earth do you get started?

First of all, if you want an foreign wife, you’re going to have to do a bit of thinking. Here are some key questions you need to ask yourself:

• Can you afford a foreign bride?
• What age difference is acceptable?
• Which country or continent do you want to find a wife from? Asia, Latin America and Russia are of course popular. Some men also choose to find African mail order brides, and brides from India.
• Do you want a lady to live with you in your country, or do you want to live in her country? Countries like Thailand and Panama are attractive retirement destinations, and if you live in a foreign country you’ll get your pick of the ladies looking for Western husbands.
• Does it matter if she is divorced, has children from a previous relationship or has other baggage? Ladies with baggage aren’t always popular with men from their own country, so they often offer a great chance for you.
• Does it matter if she doesn’t speak English? English is becoming more widely spoken in countries like China. But it’s still quite difficult to find an older Thai lady who speaks good English.
• Are you sure you know the real personality of foreign ladies? One example – most American men think Chinese ladies are shy and submissive. But the reality is that Chinese ladies are the most confident women I have ever met. Make sure your dreams of a foreign bride are based on reality.

There are also some very basic things that you should do:

• Generally speaking, it’s better not to tell your friends and family too much about your search for a mail order bride. So in the early stages, it’s usually better to keep things to yourself.
• We men are told to impress ladies we want to marry. This is true to some extent. But do not fall into the trap of sending ladies gifts and money. Save these for after marriage. A lot of dating sites have flowers and gift ordering services – don’t use these.
• Take things slowly! Don’t spend two weeks on a dating site then rush off to meet the first lady who sends you an email. Take 2-3 months to talk to a whole range of ladies.
• On the other hand. Don’t take things too slowly! Ladies on dating sites spend a lot of time talking to men who don’t deliver. If you say you’re going to visit a lady then DO IT! A lady keep her options open until you get that ring on her finger.
• Once you’ve decided on the country you want to find a wife from, then research that country. Read travel books. Buy some self help language books. Showing a lady you know something about her language and culture will impress her no end.
• Before you get too involved, make sure you can afford to find a wife from another country. Budget on at least 2 trips to that country a year. Many foreign ladies will also need to help support their families after marriage. Again, this will be money you need to find (at least until you can find your new wife a job). Don’t underestimate the money issue – money is incredibly important in countries where there are no food stamps and no social security.
• If you haven’t got one, apply for a passport!

Choosing a Foreign Bride

Online dating has revolutionised the search for a wife. There are a wide range of dating sites, and you can read about most of them on The Mail Order Brides Site.

If you want to choose the best wife for you, then talk to a lot of ladies! Don’t always go for the youngest, or the best looking. Choose a lady who is a little different, and who seems genuinely interested in you. If a lady makes a lot of effort to talk to you a lot then she’s interested in you.

One thing to watch out for is that some parts of the world are difficult and/or unsafe to travel to. It’s usually a good idea to focus on finding ladies in a city in which you can easily travel to. For China I recommend Guangzhou and Shenzhen. For the Philippines I’d go for Cebu. Thailand is easy – stick to Bangkok. Latin America is often risky to travel to, but companies like A Foreign Affair organise regular trips to Colombia and Costa Rica. For Eastern European and Russian brides, many men travel to Moscow, St. Petersburg, Kiev and Odessa.

Sadly all foreign dating sites have problems in one way or another. Scammers are a major issue. In fact scammers are just as common on Match.com, eHarmony and Plenty of Fish. It is inevitable you will encounter scam ladies so make sure you learn how to spot them. Don’t worry too much though – there are plenty of decent ladies on these dating sites, but take your time and learn how to spot them.

By the way, most dating sites are free to sign up to, so try some out and see if you like the look of the ladies on the site. This is how I got started.

Good luck on your search for an foreign bride!